Setback

I'm frustrated. Really really frustrated. I called Dr. P's office today to schedule my sonohistogram (so they can confirm no scar tissue formed from the septum removal during the hysteroscopy). Recall that I was supposed to call to schedule the sonohist after the start of my next period, which should have been any day now, and then on the start of the following cycle, we were going to do IUI #3. I still haven't started my period, but I thought I'd go ahead and schedule for next week. Well, they told me I had to do the sonohist on CD 8-10. No one freaking told me that before. I didn't know it had to be on a certain day, besides the fact that I don't even know what day I'm on now!!!!

 

Here is my jacked up cycle- hopefully it's not too much to follow. 

 

Dec. 12           Period

Jan. 11            Hysteroscopy- Dr. P says to expect my next period to be heavy

Jan. 11-18       Spotting (from surgery, or so I thought)

Jan. 19            Sore boobs, Increased spotting mixed with red blood. Not enough to even fill a

                      tampon, so I assumed this was related to my surgery.

Jan. 31            Still no sign of period.

So I asked to be transferred to the nurse and left a message asking if the bleeding I had on Jan. 19th was possibly my period. That's the only thing I can think of, because my cycles are not normally this long (if I go off the Dec 12th date, I'm on day 51 right now). She left me a message back saying that it probably was my period, which puts me on CD 12 right now... so too late to do the sonohist this cycle. SOOOOOO that means I now I have to do the sonohist on my next cycle, which pushes the IUI out to the following cycle. 

I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being patient. I'm ready to get this going again. It's SO frustrating.

PS. For those of you wondering, I have taken 27 pregnancy tests, all negative.

PPS. Not really 27. Okay, well maybe. 

Post Op Appt

We met with Dr. P today to discuss the findings of my surgery, results of my RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) blood work, and our next steps. Overall, I feel very optimistic, and it's been a long, long time since I have felt that way. 

Surgery Results

Your uterus should be convex, but mine was concave (which is also called a septum). They made a slit in the septum and this should fix the problem. We now have to hope that no scar tissue forms. After I start my next period (any day now), I will go back for a sonohystogram (they fill the uterus with saline and do an ultrasound to check for any abnormalities in the uterus). Assuming there is no scar tissue, we can start trying again after the next period. 

RPL Bloodwork

All of my tests came back negative/normal, except one: MTHFR. This gene essentially is responsible for the processing of folic acid, which can cause problems when you are pregnant. There is an upside to this though- when testing for MTHFR, they test for two different mutations- the C677T and A1298C mutations. Dr. P says that you experience issues when you have two copies of one of those and one copy of the other. I only had one copy of each. He is not worried about this finding, but does want me to increase my folic acid going forward. 

Next Steps

After I start my period (any day now), I will schedule a sonohystogram to check for scar tissue. (prayers that there is none!) Then after my next period, we will try another IUI. We asked Dr. P what his thoughts were and if he thought we should do the IUI or IVF, and he said that there is nothing telling him we should do one or the other. He said if we do the IUI, he won't charge us for it. He is so awesome! So I think we'll give it another go, and if it doesn't work, we might take some time off, and try IVF in the fall. I don't really know. We haven't got that far. 

 

All in all, I think this all sounds like really positive news, and I'm excited to get the ball rolling.

Promotion

I don't talk much about my personal life on here, but hey, why not.... 

 

I love my job. I love the company, the people I work with, the culture, and the fact that we truly believe in what we do. I work for a wealth management company, and our clients are in the very high net worth category. Client service is one of our core values, and we work hard to make sure our clients are happy.

My boss and team members have been very understanding during this time of struggle for me. I have to come in late some days, leave early, & take extra time off. It's very flexible, and I am so appreciative of that. My job has also been my out. It's one thing I can pour myself into and not have to think twice about my struggles in getting and staying pregnant. I work very hard and love taking on as much as they will give me. 

Today, the firm announced they were promoting me. I am beyond excited. This is my first promotion. Ever. I feel so appreciated and on top of the world right now. Yesterday was a bad day in my fertility world. But today makes up for it. Thanks to my firm and the people I work with. I promise, whether we have kids or not, that I will continue to make you proud. :)

Hysteroscopy Done

I had the hysteroscopy done on Friday. The few days leading up to the surgery were a mess. The facility was out of network, and I was frantically trying to reschedule with an in network facility. The out of network facility ended up working with me on the cost, and charged me $200 less than what the in network facility was going to charge, so we went with the out of network place. Also, if we do IVF, we have to go through that facility anyway, so we would have to face the out of network cost at some point. It ended up working out fine. I was also super nervous about the anesthesia. I knew it would all be okay, but I was very scared!

I arrived to Vivere (the facility) at about 1, and they quickly got me back to my room. After a painful, unsuccessful attempt at putting the needle for the IV in my hand, they finally got it in my arm. We waited there for about 1 hour and they wheeled me back for surgery. I didn't feel anything during the surgery.... I was out! After the surgery was over, there was some pain and they continued giving me meds in my IV to help with that. Before I knew it, they were wheeling me out in a wheelchair and we were on our way home.

Dr. P talked to my Mom and T after the surgery, and they attempted to relay what happened. They said something about something being concave that was supposed to be convex and they fixed it. HUH? That meant nothing to me! I was really looking forward to Dr. P's call on Saturday so I could get a brief rundown on what happened. I have a post op appointment scheduled for Jan 25th so I knew that we would go over everything in detail then, but I needed to know something now! Dr. P called, and explained that I had a uterine septum. He said they removed it and that he thinks that this is a very positive finding. Here is a little description on uterine septums:

Women with a septate uterus have a band of tissue called a septum running down the middle of their uteri. Septate uterus is a type of  congenital uterine malformation that results from a problem in the formation of the woman's uterus during her own prenatal development.

A uterine septum increases the risk of miscarriages and can be a factor in recurrent miscarriages. 

Septate Uterus and Miscarriages:

Typically, the septum is fibrous tissue without much of a blood supply. So pregnancies that implant on the septum are thought to be at higher risk of miscarrying because the placenta cannot develop properly and access nutrients.

Women with septate uteri who do not miscarry may be at increased risk for preterm labor and having a premature baby.

Odds of Miscarriage for a Woman With a Septate Uterus:

Different studies have found different figures, possibly due to the sensitivity of the technique used for diagnosis, but miscarriage rates in women with septate uteri seem to be somewhere between 25% to 47%. SOURCE

I know that this may not be our answer. But after 4 miscarriages, and them finding and fixing this, I can only pray that this was the problem all along. I am looking forward to my post op visit. I hope to get more information on the findings, and see where Dr. P says we should go from here. I have a feeling he is going to want to try another IUI, which I am up for. So maybe we will plan for IVF in the fall, if we need it. I do know that we need to wait a month or two before doing anything to let everything heal.

Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, texts, emails, and calls. It means the world to me to have so much support.

Pre Op Appointment

I met with Dr. P today for my pre op appointment. My hysteroscopy is still scheduled for this Friday at 3. The surgery sounds pretty simple, although I am nervous because they will be putting me under anesthesia. That always scares me. He said the surgery will take about 20 minutes if they don't find anything, and could take up to 45 minutes if they find something they need to fix. 

He wants me to have another round of blood work done on Wednesday to check for clotting disorders. He does not think that this is an issue since my HCG levels have always been so low (usually clotting is an issue in losing a pregnancy further along than 5 weeks), but he wants to check just to be sure. He also said that after looking more at my chart and our history, he is not 100% convinced that we need to jump on the IVF bus just yet. He wants to re-evaluate our next steps after the surgery. This means if we do IVF, we're probably looking at March. 

 

I can't decide if I hope they find something wrong or not! I just want answers!

Cheers to 2013

2012 was filled with so much for us. This time last year we were going through our 2^nd miscarriage, and I was a basketcase. We were quickly referred to our RE, and started seeing him in March. After lots of tests and blood work, there was still no clear answer on why we were having so many problems to have a baby. Throughout the year we had lots of ups and downs, and after two IUIs and two more early losses, we are now on the road to IVF. I have learned so much in the last year, not only about myself physically, but about myself emotionally, and about my relationship with my husband. We have grown so much over the last year as a team and I am so incredibly thankful for that. I have learned patience like I never even imagined I would know. I have gained strength and determination, which I believe are two of the most difficult characteristics a person can learn. I have also learned it’s okay to cry, and okay to be sad and angry sometimes. It’s okay that this is taking longer for us than it did for everyone else. I have learned that I have to be my own advocate and ask questions, and question answers, because no one else is going to do it for me. This is our path and this is where God is leading us, and there is no way that this road will ever fail us. I truly believe that 2013 will be our year, whatever that may mean. 

Watch out, infertility. We’re coming to get you.

Cheers to 2013…