No Ovulation, Take 2

Well, my doctor's appointment today went as I had expected it to. We're pretty sure I didn't ovulate this month. And even if I did, my lining is so thin that nothing would be able to stick. The reason we aren't certain about ovulation is because of those cysts- it's just too hard to distinguish them from follicles. So I'll wait to start my period and call them when that happens to decide what we will do next round.

When I initially wrote this post, I was actually kind of happy about this news because we leave for Hawaii in three weeks and while I would have been SO happy to be pregnant, I am glad I can drink and have fun instead of being worried about being pregnant. But instead of posting right away, I saved it as a draft and decided to come back to it a little later. My feelings have completely changed about it all. I'm sad and frustrated, all over again. My heart hurts, all over again. I have a sick feeling that is so deep within myself, I don't know how to try to make it better. I think most of it is the fear that this will never happen, and it's all my fault. I really don't have any other words right now.

I just don't get it. And I know I never will.