Torn

Besides the emotional roller coaster that this journey takes us on, there are all sorts of smaller battles I get to face. One that has come up a lot recently has to do with my friends. 

I would say that 95% of our friends have kids and most are starting on round 2. My friends have been so great about announcing their pregnancies to me... most have been very respectful of our situation and have told me in private before announcing to the world. This means everything to me, because regardless of how happy I am for them, it still hurts me that I am not there. 

Another topic that has come up a lot recently is kid birthday parties (baby showers could fit in this category also). I do not like going to kid birthday parties. It's not because I don't love your kid- it's strictly selfish. I am just not at a place right now where I am okay being around a lot of kids and babies. The "torn" subject that comes up is that because I usually decline when asked to a kid party or baby shower, my friends have now stopped inviting me. HORRIBLE idea! This hurts my feelings even more! I know that they are probably just trying to protect me, but it makes me feel left out, when I already feel like I'm the only one in the world with out a child! 

 

So please friends, keep the invites coming. I promise one day I'll come around. Until then, please understand where I'm at. Plus, I promise I'll still send a present. You know your kid wants another Polo shirt. :)