This month marks our two year anniversary of getting off of birth control. And it marks the one year anniversary of the cycle I got my first positive pregnancy test. It is crazy for me to think back at the last two years and how much has happened... it's even crazier to think that the majority of the activity has happened in the last year. I think about all the pain, tears, and anxiety I have had... and then it hit me how grateful I am for those two years, with it just being us. While I would give almost anything for a baby to be in our lives, I know that there are reasons we don't have one yet. I don't know why, but here is what I do know. We have gone on multiple vacations. We have remodeled our house (and still have more to do!). We go shopping, and buy a ridiculous amount of things that we do not need. We spend Saturdays having a few beers and just hanging out. We pick up and go whenever, wherever we want. We are completely free (other than our dogs). None of these things would be possible with a baby; well, they might be possible, but much harder to figure out, and probably a lot different. So, in the end, two years is a super long time to wait for something that you really want, but in the grand scheme of things, for us, it has been a blessing. We have built our relationship, and are more of a team than I ever imagined we could be. We are making our home stronger to house a family. We are traveling and building memories that we might not be able to experience again, or at least for a while. It may very well be two more years before we have a family, but I am making a vow and promise now, at our two year TTC anniversary: I will not live my life in two week increments anymore. I will not skip out on planning a weekend get away because I am worried that I might be pregnant at that time. I will worry less, and enjoy more.
So happy anniversary, TTC. Here's to hope that the third year is the charm. ;)
