Thursday, March 21, 2013

Caved

I've been praying harder than ever that this cycle will be successful. Mostly for selfish reasons, like I feel like I've been patient enough and it's our turn, and also that I am very nervous to move on to IVF. But mainly because we are ready for this. We are ready for our family to grow. I like to think we have been ready for all the years we have been trying, but I know that isn't the case. God has been shaping our lives and our relationship so that His plan can work. I know that we will be parents in His time and we have to continue to be patient. 

I caved today. I took a test. I'm 10DPO. It was a teensy bit positive, which is 99.99% likely still the trigger in my system. I've had a really great feeling about this cycle. Regardless of the outcome, I think I can contribute these positive, worry free feelings to the amount of praying I have been doing. I have not had anxiety, and haven't googled one single "symptom". I really haven't thought a whole lot about all of this... I mean, don't get me wrong, it's always in the back of my mind, but I've just been pretty chill about it. Anyway, only time will tell. We will know by Monday if this worked or not. Either way, our journey continues to the unknown- it's either the IVF journey, or a (hopeful) 9 month journey to meet our baby. And I'm ready for both. I've never been so ready for a Monday in my life.

3 comments:

intunewithmyautoimmune said...

I am feeling peace and hope about this one, too. I feel like what is broke is fixed and we can move on healthy and happy! It will work...it will work!

Jen Cagle said...

I always hear when you stop trying or just when you least expect it that it works!
#teambabyray

Emily said...

RE: previous poster ^^ Picking my jaw off of floor now....wow the ignorance and insensitivity just amazes me. Do you honestly think she'd be considering spending close to $20K on IVF if all she had to do was just "stop trying"?? Infertility is a medical condition. You wouldn't tell someone diagnosed with cancer, "It will go away when you least expect it...just stop trying." Educate yourself PLEASE.

Anyways, where was I? I am so glad to hear the extra prayer is taking away some of the anxiety for you. Waiting is always so hard, but you sound like you are in a great place as much as you can be. I really hope you get some good surprise news in a couple more days time! Hoping for the very best for you!

Post a Comment