Triggered and Ready To GO!

I'm so happy. and scared. and excited. and nervous.... the list goes on. My appointment today was great. I have 4 mature follicles, so they gave me the trigger shot. But not before we had the "multiples" talk. They warned me that there could be 4 babies if they all fertilize. For some reason, I am just not worried about it. We have had 2 good eggs before and we didn't get pregnant, so I think (hope) we are safe. Please don't make me eat those words!!!

Tomorrow we will be going for our first (and hopefully last!) IUI (Intrauterine insemination). I have so many emotions right now. I am so afraid that it won't work at all... Scared that it will work and we end up with 4 babies, which will put us in a whole new category of decisions to face.... Nervous that we end up with twins or triplets. Terrified that it works and then we lose it like we have in the past. I am also excited and thankful that we have a chance again. My prayers right now are that we stay strong no matter what the outcome is. If you have an extra prayer to say, please say that one for us too.

Still Growing! Slowly, But Growing!

Today's appointment was more of the same, which I will take! I had 1 12mm and 1 15mm on my right ovary, and 2 15mm on my left ovary. I'm a little frustrated with the measurement of my lining though. Today it came back at 7.8mm. Granted it was a different nurse measuring, and she said that 7.8mm is great, I am still a little confused. I wish they would just give me the same nurse through the whole cycle, because each nurse measures differently, but oh well. Why am I complaining when this is all good news?! My E2 level was 649, and I go back on Monday, hopefully ready for that trigger shot!! I should be, as it looks like my follies are growing about 1.5-2mm per day, so by Monday, they should be around 19-21mm. Fingers and toes are crossed!!!

...And We're Growing!!

More good news! We're still growing! You can see on the screen below, I have 4 follicles around 12-13mm and 2 around 10mm, and my lining is measuring 10.6mm (considering they like to see at least 7.5mm by ovulation, this one deserves a big WOO HOO!). My E2 level came back at 432- the nurse said that was great. I go back on Friday and am hoping for the trigger shot (triggering ovulation of all mature follicles) on Sunday or Monday! I know how quickly things can turn for the worse, but for now, I am so excited and happy!

Also, I spoke too soon in my previous post about no bruising from my injections. Yesterday morning the bruising started. And right during swimsuit season?! It WILL be worth it. :)

Keep On Growing!!!

My sonogram and lab work today went well. I have lots of follicles growing, all around 9mm right now. The picture below shows the larger follicle measurements. The column to the right shows the follicle size in cm (so .90cm would be 9mm), and the endo line is my lining (so currently at 6.1mm). My E2 level came back at 134... the nurse told me this morning that she would expect it to be around 100, so this is great news! I go back Wednesday. Keep on growing little guys!

I took a picture of the injections I give myself each day, just to give you an idea of what it's like. My tummy has 14 little needle marks in it as of today, but thank goodness it doesn't bruise like some people I have seen. The injection on the left is the microdose lupron, which I draw into the needle and give myself twice a day (once in am, once in pm), and the pen (which is super simple to use- you just dial the dose and stick a needle on and you're done!) is the Follistim, which I do once per day (in the am).

Some Good News, Finally!

My baseline scan on Wednesday revealed NO cysts! Woo hoo! They also took blood to check my Estradiol (E2) level, which should be around 50 on day 1. It was 53, and she said that was good.  So the protocol begins as follows:

20 units Microdose Lupron in the morning and at night (this is an injection I give myself in my tummy)
75 units Follistim in the morning beginning day 3 (Friday 7/20) (also an injection I give myself in my tummy)
Return for a scan on Monday 7/23 to see how we are doing

Come on little follicles!! Grow big and strong for me! But only a few of you... we don't want too many to grow!

Cheers to next cycle...

The nurse told me at my last appointment that I should take a pregnancy test on Sunday, July 22. I am normally an "early tester" meaning I start testing way too early each month just in hopes of seeing two lines, and I usually test every day until my period comes. This month I haven't really even wanted to test (good side effects of the acupuncture ,maybe?). Like I have said in previous posts, I'm just so calm and at ease with everything right now.

Well, looks like I won't get to test at all this month. Spotting, cramping, and backache set in this afternoon... Seriously???!!! WTH! A little early! Am I upset?... Yes, of course. But I am excited to get back on track next cycle with the meds (pending no cysts). I will make an appointment tomorrow for some time this week to check for cysts, then once my cycle starts, we get to do injections again. I am also considering doing another natural cycle soon along with the acupuncture. Maybe in September since we plan to go to Hawaii for my 30th birthday.

Cheers until next post... And yes, I am raising my wine glass. After all this, I need a glass... Or bottle!!

Really, Facebook?

I jumped on Facebook this morning only to find the top 5 posts on my news feed as follows: 2 pregnancy announcements, one "OMG my water just broke" announcement (who does that?!), and 2 precious newborn pics. Can't Facebook just know how much these make me want to cry and hide them from me!?! Just kidding- I am super happy for those folks, but yet another reminder of what has been so hard for us to get!

Another hard part of this journey is baby names. Terry and I have had 4 names picked out for a long time... not many people know what they are, and all of them are really unique. Well, a girl I went to high school with named her baby girl my FAVORITE name. I have never even heard of anyone named this! Does that mean we can't use it now? No. But I still wanted our names to be very different and new. Oh well... we will keep on moving on...

Pity party over. :)

Tiny Happy Dance

My appointment today went really well! My sonogram indicated I ovulated on my own over the weekend (woo hoo), and my lining looked great at 8.3mm. We did our part :), so it's all in God's hands. I will start progesterone supplements on Wednesday, as well as dexamethasone. Dexamethasone is a steroid that slightly weakens your immune system to keep your body from trying to attack anything unfamiliar (i.e. a baby). It is sometimes given to people with multiple losses.

I am going to try to be positive about everything this round, but it's so hard to when you have been through so many months of negative results. I do feel like my acupuncture is really starting to calm my feelings though. I haven't felt much stress about all of this since I started it, which is very uncommon, so I hope that continues!

Cyst Is Gone?

I went to the RE on Tuesday to see if I had any activity going on inside, and also to see what was going on with the cyst. Good news is, it appears the cyst is gone. But the annoying and frustrating thing is, the one good follicle I have is in the exact same place as where the cyst was. So it's hard to tell if it is the cyst or a follicle. The nurse said that she really believes it is a follicle, because right above the follicle there was some gray matter, and she thinks that was the leftovers from the cyst. It's frustrating because I have a whole other ovary that the healthy follicle could have been on, and then we would know for sure that it was a follicle, but NOOOO. It has to be on the cyst side, in the same spot. Oh well. We are going with the fact that it's a follicle. It was measuring at 14.3mm (which is right where it should be at this point), so I scheduled an appointment to go back on Friday. Also, my lining was a smidge thin at 6.8mm, so I will be starting the estradoil (estrogen) patch tomorrow.

Quick lesson on follicles: A follicle is a fluid-filled sac on the ovary that (usually) contains a ripening egg. The follicle can release an egg at ovulation. (definition from www.babycenter.com) This part can vary by doctor, but most say that a follicle over 18mm is considered mature, and your body can release the egg on it's own, or your doctor can give you a trigger shot, which forces all mature follicles to release an egg.

I went back to the doctor today (Friday) and we hadn't grown much- only at 16.4mm now. But the good thing is that it's growing... And we're also convinced the cyst is gone! Yay! My lining looked good at 7.3mm. I go back Monday to do another sonogram to see if/ how much we've grown, and fingers crossed that I can get the trigger shot!!

My 1st Angel Baby

Today is a tough day. Our first baby would have been due today. In fact, when I told Terry I was pregnant that first time, I said "I have a great idea for July 4th next year... we can have a baby!" I know there are reasons that did not happen, but it's still hard. So, here is to seeing my angel one day.